AVENGERS FAN FICTION: No One Mourns The Strong

AVENGERS FAN FICTION!

No One Mourns The Strong!Featuring Joe Fix It and The Might Thor!

Joe Fix It Iage by John Buscema
Thor image by John Romita Jr.

Words By Raymond Tyler

The Hulk created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Joe Fixit Created By Peter David

The Great Forum Bar inside The Coliseum Casino where Joe Fix It works as security chief 1-A. He’s talking to Thor who almost turned the place out looking for “Joe.” The two sit in an area with special re-enforced titanium seating made especially for Joe and his “guests.”

Thor: “Hulk, your manners still be as stale as troll breath, though in those clothes and this job, I would say thou art more incredible than ever.”

Hulk:. “Nix the Hulk stuff, now I’m just Joe. Who do I owe a punch in the mouth for telling you I was in Vegas? Spider man or that Wolverine loser? Maybe I’ll kill em both after the Tyson/Seldon fight next week. Still you’re here now what do you want?”

Thor: “Just a drink and some conversation and then I am back off to further adventures.”

Hulk: “Hmm you mean I ain’t gonna have to wrap that cape around your ears and beat the snot out of you to leave me alone?”

Thor laughs and pats Joe on the back: “Not that you, Benjamin Grimm, Namor and 20 green Hulks could best me Joe. But, no fights here tonight.”

Hulk thinks to himself: “That’s what you think. If I hate anything more than being called Hulk right now, it’s being compared to that green, first person talking moron and Banner. Still it will not hurt to have a drink with an old Avenger even if he is almost as snooty as Stark.”

Thor: “No my friend. I am just here to enjoy a night of women and drinks. You know more than anyone, no one weeps for the strong. Yes they may have some compassion for Grimm because he wants to be a mere mortal. However men like us. Men, that can change the course of mighty rivers with our bare hands or leap tall buildings in a single bound..?

Hulk: “Watch out Goldie you’re real close to copyright infringement but I get the picture.”

Till well after three in the morning Thor and Joe talk Betty Ross, Sif, Jane Foster and even Jarella. They talk crummy fathers. Thor rants on and on about his dung-hole brother Loki. Thor has pitcher after pitcher of the 100 Proof Vodka .While Joe himself has scotch and sodas minus the scotch. Just as they get outside and clear of the casino

Hulk thinks to himself: “You know Joey. Thor ain’t as much of tool as I used to think. I almost want to put him in a cab and send him back to Stark’s mansion and show I got more class than back when we kicked The Space Phantom’s butt.”

A staggering Thor: “Could you point me in the direction of New York?”

Joe: “Sure thing Goldie it’s that way. By the way. Nice to know you like the ladies too.”

Thor looking confused: “What dost thou mean by that statement Hulk?”

Hulk: “Well you know? The ‘Barbie doll’ hair, the funny talk, the circus o lay, out fit. I always figured you and Stark were a cute couple. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

With that, a flash of thunder and lightning, lights up the Vegas night like 12 noon and strikes Joe launching him high in the air.

Hulk turns around in air as he starts to fall toward a waiting Thor.

Hulk yells “We’re Playing The Feud Now!!!!”

This has been a good night for Joe Fix It. And for the people in Vegas who couldn’t get rooms next week for the Tyson fight? They still get treated to a once in a life time battle of heavy weights.

Thor created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby